You Could Love Her
by arrow maker
Summary: Prequel to 'Why Do I Love You' The evil Female PC (Cegra) reflects on her past. Insertations of the song 'Love Her'by Seether.


m: This is a prequel to 'Why Do I Love You'. It's basically Cegra's story of her past and basic explanation of why she's so evil. Disclaimer; Valen belongs to Bioware. Cegra Rekam a.k.a the evil female PCC belongs to me. 'Love Her' belongs to Seether.

You Could Love Her

A fire blazed, lighting up the campsite and cutting into the darkness of the mysterious Underdark. An adventuring party had stopped for the night, deciding to make camp before setting off for the next part of their quest.

The group consisted of four people, a kobold, a female drow, a male teifling, and they're leader, a human woman. The drow and the kobold had turned in for the night, but the human and the teifling were still very much awake.

Valen gazed at his leader. She sat by the campfire, staring deep into the depths of the flames. The light of the fire cast a glow on her, giving her long, black hair, pale complexion, and grey eyes a slightly red tint.

The teifling stared at her. Recently, she had continually pestered him about his past, trying to learn more about him. He had resisted at first, but eventually gave in and poured out his entire life story to her. She had been sympathetic, non-judgmental and caring. He felt as though he could tell her anything. There was one thing that irked him, however, he knew next to nothing of her past. Those grey eyes swam with secrets and he desired to know them.

"Cegra," He began.

Cegra Rekam looked at him, her grey eyes locking with his own blue orbs. "Yes, Valen?"

"I am curious about your past. You know much of me, but I know little about you. Would you care to tell me more about yourself?"

She smiled humorlessly. "My story is not a pleasant one, Valen."

"Neither is mine." He pointed out.

Cegra sighed. "I suppose you have a right to know."

_I met a girl who hated the world_

"I suppose I should start with my childhood. I was born to a wealthy family. My father was a profitable merchant and my family lived in a large city. I grew up having everything I could ever need or want."

"Sounds nice."

"It was, for a time." A distant look formed in Cegra's eyes. "When I was six years old, my father got into trouble with some people. I didn't understand at the time, that his life was at stake." She chuckled. "It's interesting how naïve and innocent we are as children."

"What happened?"

"One night, when I was about five years old, I had a nightmare. Seeking comfort, I went to my father's office. I stopped in the hall when I heard voices. One was voice of my father, one my mother, and others…unknown."

"Who were they?"

"They were the debtors. In truth, they were part of a powerful crime group known as 'The Shadow Blades'. They didn't notice as I stood in the doorway, looking in on them. My father pleaded with them, begging the criminals to spare the life of me and my mother. I saw that strong, proud man get down on his knees…and beg."

"Was he successful?"

"They laughed, the cruel sound echoing throughout the room. The leader raised his sword and beheaded my father in one swift sweep of his blade. I screamed from the doorway, distracting the killers and allowing my mother to run out the room, grab my hand, and escape. I remember hiding outside with my mother, watching from a narrow alleyway as the Blades burned the Rekam estate to the ground. The sound of their horrible laughter accompanying the fire."

Cegra continued, "My mother and I spent the next few years fleeing. You see, the Shadow Blades didn't kill just one enemy, they killed the entire family. My mother used the last of our fortune trying to escape, but it was futile. Two years after my father's death, the Blades took my mother. I witnessed her death, the murderers relentlessly beating her at first. They soon raped her, over and over again. After what seemed to be an eternity, she succumbed to the darkness of death."

"How did you survive? I thought they killed all of the family."

"Luck was with me, I guess. It was so long ago…I can't even remember how I managed to escape." Cegra declared. "I was a child beggar on the street for several months, until an orphanage took me in."

Valen gave her a weak smile. "That doesn't sound so terrible."

"I had hoped it wouldn't be. I was wrong, of course. The orphanage was like a prison, filled with hollow-eyed children and an abusive staff. It was run by Vandenn, a cold, tall, intimidating man. His pale, gruesome face and corpse-like eyes could make the hardened war veterans shriek like little girls and run like cowering dogs. There was one thing he rather liked, and most of the female orphans provided it in return for food, clothes, whatever they required. I was one of those orphans."

_She used her body to sell her soul_

Valen's brow creased in confusion. "What do you mean by 'one thing he rather liked'?"

"Let's just say that he was my marilith."

"I see."

"For the next six years I stayed at the orphanage, bestowing 'favors' in return for necessities. Thoughts of the Shadow Blades had practically vanished from my mind. My only goal was to survive."

"You did, obviously. What happened next?"

"When I was fourteen, Vandenn was found in his room, dead. The girl he was with was dead as well. He had been stabbed twice by a knife. I caught a glimpse of the weapon they had found, and saw it had the symbol of the Shadow Blades on it's hilt. I knew it was time to leave. So, I packed what meager belongings I had and made my way to another city. It was just as corrupted as my hometown, the seedy underworld brimming with crime and lawlessness. There were several opportunities for a fourteen-year-old there; begging, thieving, and prostitution were some of them."

"Which did you choose?"

"I did not 'choose' I had the opportunity thrust on me." Cegra said sharply. "The one I came into contact with was prostitution. The local brothel was looking for pretty girls, and I fit the criteria."

Valen blinked. Cegra raised an eyebrow. "Does this shock you, Valen?"

He shook his head. "It's surprising is all. I can't really see you doing that." He truly couldn't. To him, Cegra was caring, sensitive, laughed and smiled with ease despite whatever the situation was.

"I was much different then, and my survival was at stake." Cegra replied. "I joined the brothel, selling myself to drunken men."

_Every time they'd break her and pay_

I allowed myself to be used as an object, to be drenched in their lust, to be raped hundreds—perhaps thousands—of times."

_Tear out her heart and leave her in pain_

"This continued for the next decade. I felt dead on the inside, my soul numb and icy. Then, something happened."

"What?"

"I met Chrissopher Brendem." Sadness flashed through her eyes.

_I never found out how she survived all of the sadness she kept inside_

"Chriss was a bard who played music for the dancers at the brothel. We became close, friends even. Once, he even stopped a patron from abusing me. When he learned that I did not know how to fight, he taught me fist-fighting, knife-fighting, and even his preferred weapon; a spear." Cegra said, involuntarily glancing at the spear that lay next to her.

_I never found out how she could lie_

"You loved him, didn't you?"

Cegra smiled sadly. "I did."

_With a smile on her face and the scratches she'd hide_

"He was kind to me. He never took advantage of me or treated me like a whore. I grew to love him, as he loved me."

_You could love her if you paid you could have her everyday_

"When I trusted him enough and felt that he would never try to hurt me, we made love." A smile crept onto her face. "It was special. For the time, it wasn't just sex, it was love."

_You could love her if you prayed; you could have her every way_

Her expression hardened. "But then, the next morning, I learned the truth."

_Down on her knees she bled on the floor_

"Chriss was a Shadow Blade. When I woke up the next morning, I saw his smiling face…as well as the grinning faces of the assassins."

_This hopeless life she wanted no more_

"They hurt me, their knives piercing and slashing my skin. They meant to torture me before I died; make me suffer as much as possible. They didn't need knives; my beloved's malicious grin as he watched me suffer was painful enough." Cegra said bitterly.

_Dead in her mind and cold to the bone_

"When they finished, the Blades and Chriss dumped me in a deserted alleyway, believing me dead. I wasn't dead, far from it." Her eyes were burning with intensity at this point. "His betrayal awakened something in me. A rage so intense that it overpowered me. I wanted revenge, and I knew I could have it."

_She opened her eyes and saw she was alone_

"I dragged myself away from that alley, somehow managing to receive healing for my injuries and acquire weapons.

_She never found out how much I tried_

"I was going on sheer rage and determination at this point. My first goal was to kill Chriss. I succeeded, killing him as well as his comrades. I was not satisfied when I plunged my knife into my former lover's chest. My thirst for revenge could not be appeased with Chriss's death. I intended to wipe out every Shadow Blade in existence."

"No easy feat." Valen commented.

"It wasn't, but I knew I was capable of doing it. I traveled back to my hometown, slowing terminating every member of the organization. I not only killed the members, but their families as well. I relished in the cries of sobbing mothers and dying children."

_All of the sadness she kept made me blind_

"I had extinguished nearly all of the members. But then, something that I never would have expected happened. The law arrested me."

_She never found out how much I cried_

"The Shadow Blades had many connections, some of which were seated on the ruling powers of my town. When they learned it was I who had committed all the murders, they were quick to issue a warrant for my arrest. They were not the only ones; the other, honest rulers wanted my capture as well. It was the ultimate irony; corruption and justice joining forces to remove one woman who was a threat to both of them."

The haunted look remained in Cegra's eyes. "I was sentenced to death by hanging for my crimes. A large crowd formed at my execution. They screamed for death, calling me 'Murderer', 'Criminal', 'Child-killer', and other names. A noose was slipped around my neck, and I was if I had any last words. I did, they were, 'Corruption won't die with me, sin won't return to the hells from which it came, and my victims will remain in their graves. You can execute my body, but not the actions it performed.'."

"How did you get out that situation?" Valen asked.

"I didn't."

_The rope so tight on the night that she died_

"The crowd cheered as I fell, the rope suffocating the life out of me. I had failed my original goal of survival, I had lost."

Valen looked at Cegra with confusion. "Wait, if you died then how-"

"Shush, you. I'm getting to that."

_You could love her if you paid_

"My death did not last long. I spent the time in Hell…I'd rather not discuss it."

The teifling nodded. "I understand."

"During my life, my skill as a serial killer was well known. So well known that a powerful wizard brought me back to life. He took control of my mind, turning me into his mindless slave. I was little more than a golem, doing only his bidding, which was pretty much to assassinate all his enemies. I suppose I should be grateful, he didn't rape me." The sarcasm in Cegra's tone sent a shiver up Valen's spine.

_You could love her if you paid, you have her everyday_

"How did you get free?"

"One of his enemies got to him while I was out on a mission. His death broke the spell and my mind was my own again. I decided to make the most of my new life, become an adventurer and use my skills for true justice, rather than vengeance."

_You could love her if you prayed, you could have her every way_

"I have a question, Cegra."

"What is it, Valen?"

"Why did you change in your new life? Why didn't you become a killer once more?"

"You learn many things when you die." She replied.

_I never found out how she survived, a life lived in lies is a life of denial_

Valen nodded. "I see. Thank you for telling me, my lady."

She smiled, it was genuine. "Thank you for listening."

Unsure at first, Valen reached out and took her hand. "If you ever need someone to speak to, I am right here." He said sincerely.

"Thank you." Cegra said softly.

_I never found out how she could lie, with a smile on her face and the darkness inside_

Cegra looked at his Valen. The sympathy in his eyes shone brightly. Hesitant at first, Cegra leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to his lips.

_You could love her if you paid, you could have her everyday_

Cegra broke away. "Thank you." She said, before walking away. Valen gazed after her. As he watched her move, he made a small promise; He would never allow anyone to hurt her like that again. Not if he could help it.

_You could love her if you prayed; you could have her every way_


End file.
